Making Time for Silence

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I have always enjoyed quiet time, especially when it’s time that I get to be completely by myself. Before my husband and I were married, I lived alone for four years, and I loved it. I rarely ever turned the television on, and any noise that I had in my house was completely by choice. Fast forward to today, my husband and I have been married for 7 years and we have two kids; I still enjoy my quiet time, it’s just a little more rare these days. Even as I’m writing this now, it’s late at night, everyone else is asleep, and the only sound I can hear other than the keys clicking as I’m typing is my 10-year old boxer snoring on the floor beside me. I operate the best in silence. It’s just how I am.

My husband is a very different person. He actually likes noise. He likes to have loud music playing in the background when he’s cooking, cleaning, showering, or just working on projects around the house. He can have the television on, music playing on his phone, and watch a video on his tablet. It baffles me every single time I witness it. But again, it’s just how he is.

No matter how your brain is wired, if you love the silence like I do, or you operate better with background noise, there is value in quiet time for all of us.

NOTE: All of the links in this post are to outside articles (not my own). I’ve provided these links because I feel like they contain valuable information pertaining to this topic.

Multiple studies have shown that people actually need quiet time. We need time in our lives to relax. It’s really no surprise, that in a world where we’re constantly stimulated, taking time to clear our minds is both beneficial and crucial. Whether it’s a few hours or a few minutes, complete and total silence, or just a period of time with reduced stimulation, our brains need this time to rest, recharge, and focus us.

So how do we make this time for ourselves? Everyone is busy these days, but there are several ways to relax and focus our energy on things other than our hectic schedules. The main objective of all of these is to help reduce stress-levels, and improve over-all health.

Practice deep breathing: This is by far the easiest method because it can be done in short intervals throughout the day. We live in a busy world, where it seems that everyone is constantly on the go. This makes it difficult for many people to carve out time during the day for anything “extra,” but taking one minute at a time to focus on deep breathing can help tremendously. 6-8 deep breathes (in through your nose and out through your mouth) should equal around one minute. When you do this, be sure your focus is on your breathing and nothing else.

Going for a walk: A mindful walk gives you the opportunity to clear your mind by really focusing all of your senses while you’re walking, and you’re getting the added benefit of exercise.

Gardening: This is one of my new favorite ways to de-stress. There is something about just being in nature that’s peaceful and relaxing. In addition to the stress-relieving benefits, gardening has been shown to improve self-esteem, and even lower the risk for dementia.

Journaling: This can be done in the morning as a way to help focus and set goals for the day, and also at the end of the day as a way to help reflect and unwind.

Meditation: A great way to manage stress, anxiety, sleep problems, and a whole list of other issues many of us face. I highly recommend reading this article about the benefits of meditation, it also gives a brief summary of the different types. The main components of any type of meditation you choose will be focused attention, relaxed breathing, and being in a quiet space.

Yoga: Technically this one could be under meditation, but there are so many benefits to yoga itself that I feel like it deserves it’s own bullet point. While many people associate yoga with body contortions and handstands, it’s really about aligning your body and your mind, and knowing your body. Even if you can’t touch your toes, you can still practice yoga. It’s called “practicing” for a reason, you’ll get better over time. Perfect poses are not the goal.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Who has the time for any of this?” I get it. Seriously, and especially if you’re a mom, I understand you. I know the sleep-deprivation that comes with motherhood. (My daughter slept very little as a newborn. It was baffling to me that an infant could function on as little sleep as she got.) I know what it’s like to as though you never have a single moment to yourself, but somewhere in your schedule, you need to make the time to take care of yourself. Let people help you with your kids. Even if it’s just long enough to go for walk by yourself and take a shower. There is nothing selfish about self-care.

Here are a few more ideas on how to fit quiet time into your day:

Waking up early. For most people, this is the easiest way to work quiet time into their schedule. This is a favorite of many people who like to start the morning with a daily devotion. It’s also very effective since it helps set the tone for the rest of the day.

If you have an infant or very young child: it’s likely that waking up early just isn’t going to work. Our bodies need sleep, and if you’ve been up half the night with a child (for one reason or another), then getting even less sleep is not a good idea. Another option would be to have quiet time later in the day when you’re child is napping (if you’re not already using that time to catch up on sleep yourself).

If you have multiple children: One thing I’ve started doing on days when we’re all home together, is quiet time with my six year old daughter while my son is napping in the afternoon. Of course I don’t make my child sit in silence, but this is a great time for drawing, coloring, or she’ll work on some arts and crafts projects during this time. No painting during quiet time though… I’ve made that mistake before.

Quiet lunch breaks. This is, and has always been, a favorite of mine. Sometimes I read, on the days I work from home I like to go outside and water my plants, sometimes I just think. Depending on the length of the break, there may also be enough time to go for a walk.

Short breaks throughout the day. This is were those deep-breathing exercises I talked about earlier come in handy. Whether it’s one minute or five minutes, just take some time to clear your mind.

Staying up (a little) late. This is another good one for the parents of littles, or people who are busy in general, who aren’t able to find time during the day for themselves. As we’ve established, sleep is important, so I’m not suggesting that anyone become sleep-deprived, but staying awake another 15-30 minutes after the kids go to sleep may be the option that work best.

Of course this isn’t a comprehensive list, but hopefully this will help you to find something that works for you.